


Turks Behaving Badly

by Kalta79



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Nonsense, Short One Shot, The Author Accepts No Responsibility, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-28 02:24:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15038588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalta79/pseuds/Kalta79
Summary: Reno and Rude get into trouble...sort of. Saying anymore would ruin the story for you :-)





	Turks Behaving Badly

Cloud looked at his phone, surprised that it said the number calling him was restricted. There really wasn't anyone left with secrets, was there? Curious, he answered the call. “Hello?” he asked politely.

“Did that dress you wore for Don Corneo make your butt look fat?” an instantly familiar voice inquired.

“Reno! What the...” Cloud was incensed, but the Turk hung up on him before he chew him out.

 

***

“Who is this?” Vincent asked.

“Do you dry-clean your cloak or just use seltzer?” the voice asked.

“Rude?” Vincent stared at his phone as it said the call ended.

“Man, that was lame!” Reno complained to his friend. “I'll handle the calls from now on.”

 

***

“If you really want to know what a sexist is, bend over!”

“You son of a...” Yuffie started cursing in her native language when the caller hung up.

 

***

“It makes you feel like such a man to have your big guns, doesn't it?”

“Say that to my face, and I'll show you!” Barret demanded.

 

***

“Hey Rocket Man, how many screws do you got loose?”

“My screws aren't loose, ask my wife.” Cid replied.

 

***

 

“I know what you charge for flowers, but how much to **de** -flower you?”

“ _Excuse_ me?!” Aerith snapped.

***

“Hey puppy, are you potty-trained yet?”

“Reno? Are you okay?” Zack asked.

***

 

“Who's next?” Reno asked his longtime partner between giggles. “I know, how about Tifa? You could ask her out!” he pointed out as he started dialing.

“Oh, come on, man, leave her out of this!” Rude blushed and tried to get the phone from his friend.

“Hello?” Tifa's cheerful voice answered her phone.

“Hey, how much for a pint of milk from those massive udders of yours?” Reno asked.

“ **What** do you think you're doing?!” Elena walked into the lab and stared at her superiors.

"I think we've been busted!" Rude stopped mid-motion of trying to get the phone from Reno.

***

“I don't know what they got into, but obviously some kind of drug is making them act this way.” Elena reported to Tseng and Rufus, as Reno and Rude were sitting in the chairs acting like they got sent to the principal's office.

Tseng nudged Rufus conspiratorially. “Come on, go ahead and ask her! You're the boss after all.” he told him in a juvenile tone.

Rufus' cheeks turned red as he stared at Elena with a silly smile on his face. “Do you wear lacy panties or go commando?”

 

***

Elena woke up, confused by the incomprehensible dream. What did it mean? She was startled when her phone started ringing. Hesitantly she picked it up when she saw it was Tseng. “Yes, sir?”

“You wash your panties on the delicate cycle, don't you?”


End file.
